Motherhood as Vocation

A week and a half ago, I came across an article titled "Motherhood as Vocation." The article discusses the difficulty in being a stay-at-home mom in a work-dominated culture, especially for women who are educated and have found meaningful work outside of the home before becoming mothers. A group of women in the Washington D.C. area gathered to explore and discuss their shared vocation. The article affirms that the work of a stay-at-home mom is of utmost importance, just as important as being a doctor or a lawyer or a novelist. It is work that is shaped by the mother's experiences and education, and is by no means inferior to other types of work. The idea that stay-at-home moms aren't doing "real work" is a crock.

What really got me was a quote at the end of the article from G.K. Chesterton:

"How can it be a large career to tell other people’s children about the rule of three, and a small career to tell one’s own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone?"

Get I get an amen?

I read that and immediately thought of my students. How can I be the professor of 50 or so students, a task that's demanding much of my attention and eating away my sanity, when my primary obligation is to my daughter and my husband? How can I offer myself so completely to an endeavor that's proving to be wholly unfruitful? The long and the short of it is, I can't. And as much as I want to teach and ultimately enjoy it, now is not the right time.

The big question I've had through this is about the importance of my education. If I'm just going to be a stay-at-home mom, what was the point of going to college and grad school? If I'm honest, that was my biggest deterrent to giving up teaching, even at the expense of my wavering mental health. What I'm learning is that my time in college and graduate school has shaped who I am, and what I've learned and done in my life is going to shape who I am as a mother. And who I am is not validated by what I do for "real work."

Thanks be to God.

30 Days of Happiness | Winding Down

Well, despite my not blogging every day of these past thirty, today is the thirtieth day of happiness and the last of this project. Honestly, the last thirty days haven't made me happier, but they have proven that taking a photograph of a beautiful moment is life affirming and critical to my sanity. I think I already knew that.

After all this, I think I need a break from blogging and to limit my screen time for the next week or so. Tomorrow, cool weather is moving in and spending some time in the crisp air and sunshine will do me some good.

Enjoy your week!

30 Days of Happiness | Little Blue Mug

I'm sure this is overkill, the whole broken mug as metaphor for life. This is supposed to be 30 Days of Happiness. I should be happy. I should be looking for the beautiful and celebrating the simple.

But allow me to be candid for a moment: I'm stressed out. And when this mug jumped off the drying rack and landed on the floor, I was disappointed. It was a gift from a friend in college with whom I've lost touch. It was the last reminder of our friendship. Now it's at the bottom of the trash can. How fitting.

I came across this quote from E.M. Forrester and it has stuck with me for quite some time. It says, "We must be willing to let go of the life we've planned to have the life that is waiting for us." I'm not sure I've read anything so applicable and poignant. As stressed as I am, I've come to realize that I can't do it all, and I need to cut myself some slack. We live far away from family, my husband works crazy hours, and I have a baby who deserves my undivided attention.

After wrestling with it for weeks, I decided I need a break from teaching. I've been pouring so much of myself into my classes and getting little in return. Grading and planning and managing students has been more difficult than before, and it's because I have someone else constantly lobbying for my time and attention. And right now, all I want to do is give it to her.

In the grand scheme of things, it's really not a big deal. But in my little world, it is. I hate to give up something I love so much, but it's the right choice right now. This is just a season, and Lily is only little once, right?

Even if my little blue mug is shattered, I can breathe easy.

Incidentally, the friend who bought me the shattered mug befriended on Facebook, today of all days. I'll have to tell her about it and that, if nothing else, it made a beautiful photo.

30 Days of Happiness | At Home

30 Days of Happiness | Pumpkins with my Pumpkins

Pumpkins are a sign of happiness, for sure. Who can resist a big orange ball of pulp? Not me. So, for my birthday, we went to the pumpkin patch and took our pick. We picked pumpkins for the front porch and a few exotic mini pumpkins that are sitting in a bowl on the dining room table. It helps to bring bits of autumn inside, even if the air conditioning is still running.

As we wandered the pumpkin field, I was quite nostalgic for our old stomping grounds and a little farm market that sets up teepees for Halloween and has a petting zoo and tractor rides and, of course, pumpkins. When I was a child, we went every year, and though it was always the same, it was always, always special. I wish we could take Lily so she could bundle up and eat an Empire apple and experience a real northeast fall. But she's still so young and there's time for all that, I hope.
Choosing pumpkins is a certain sign that autumn will be sticking around here soon. Driving through our new neighborhood, we've seen a fair share of decorated houses readying themselves for trick-or-treaters. And, though Adam works on Halloween, I plan to dress up Lily and show her off to the neighbors. Maybe they'll even give me a treat or two.

30 Days of Happiness | My New Toy

This is what Adam got me for my birthday. Is he great or what?

30 Days of Happiness | Splish Splash

Even when life is hectic and crazy -- read: I am up to my elbows in papers to grade, not to mention cleaning and organizing the house for a little gathering tomorrow night -- one thing that stays constant is we get clean. Not only is getting clean good for our stinky bodies, it's also good for our spirits because we can splash and sing and have a lovely little time.

So, when Adam left us tonight to work for a few hours, Lily and I got into our birthday suits and splashed around. Really, who knew something as simple as taking a bath could make a couple of whiny pitiful girls feel better?

30 Days of Happiness | Sitting Up, Sort Of

I must have watched this a hundred times today and laughed my head off every time. I hope I get to show it at Lily's graduation party, or maybe her wedding. We'll see.

30 Days of Happiness | Farmers Marketing

After months of being closed, the farmers market reopened this morning. And because it was a bright, cool fall morning and Lily was being particularly whiny, we made our way downtown to wander around and assess the offerings.

It was surprisingly quiet. Over the summer, tons of people poured their way through the sidewalks to get their share, but not today. I prefer it quiet, especially when maneuvering the stroller around dogs and people who are trying to catch a smile from this little face.
We ended up with quite the bounty: breakfast bread and a cranberry scone, cranberry walnut goat cheese, satsumas, yellow squash, and spearmint beeswax lip balm.

I'm sure it's trite to say that I love patronizing local vendors, that the bread and goat cheese in particular are from people who are kind and caring and live in my own community, but I'm glad to buy what they bring. I'm glad to find out that the ladies who make the goat cheese can't make a recommendation because they love each flavor so much. I'm happy to know one of them is weeks away from giving birth and that the bakers are doing well in their business. It's good to see familiar faces. If only they could furnish our entire repertoire of foodstuffs.

30 Days of Happiness | Little Girl Clothes

Every six months or so, there's a huge kids clothing consignment sale in Mobile, and it's being held this week. So, today I packed up the little girl and we went a-shoppin'. I got 8 items for $25, most of which are cool weather clothes, which I realized this week we were lacking.

I love those little stripes, especially the blue pants, which Adam informed me are the ugliest pants he's ever seen and he can't believe I'd dress our daughter in them. Well, believe it, baby. They're cute. I'd even consider getting a pair for myself if Gymboree made them big enough and I wasn't averse to wearing leggings. Maybe if they were sweatpants.