I'm sure this is overkill, the whole broken mug as metaphor for life. This is supposed to be 30 Days of Happiness. I should be happy. I should be looking for the beautiful and celebrating the simple.
But allow me to be candid for a moment: I'm stressed out. And when this mug jumped off the drying rack and landed on the floor, I was disappointed. It was a gift from a friend in college with whom I've lost touch. It was the last reminder of our friendship. Now it's at the bottom of the trash can. How fitting.
I came across this quote from E.M. Forrester and it has stuck with me for quite some time. It says, "We must be willing to let go of the life we've planned to have the life that is waiting for us." I'm not sure I've read anything so applicable and poignant. As stressed as I am, I've come to realize that I can't do it all, and I need to cut myself some slack. We live far away from family, my husband works crazy hours, and I have a baby who deserves my undivided attention.
After wrestling with it for weeks, I decided I need a break from teaching. I've been pouring so much of myself into my classes and getting little in return. Grading and planning and managing students has been more difficult than before, and it's because I have someone else constantly lobbying for my time and attention. And right now, all I want to do is give it to her.
In the grand scheme of things, it's really not a big deal. But in my little world, it is. I hate to give up something I love so much, but it's the right choice right now. This is just a season, and Lily is only little once, right?
Even if my little blue mug is shattered, I can breathe easy.
Incidentally, the friend who bought me the shattered mug befriended on Facebook, today of all days. I'll have to tell her about it and that, if nothing else, it made a beautiful photo.