14 January 2011

Passion & Work

This is Lily's first finger painting. It has nothing to do with the rest of this post.

This was a big week for me, publishing-wise. I had two articles published in the local paper, one on a botanical drawing class with a local artist (I wish I was taking this class!) and the other about a local feed-the-homeless program called Loaves & Fish. Then, today, my latest essay went up at The Curator: "The Year of Journaling Fearlessly."

I'm learning that I really love to write. If I had my choice I would be doing a lot more of it, for pay and for myself. But, as you know, I also love photography and often consider what it might be like to have a photography business. Maybe sell prints (do people buy prints?) or shoot weddings. But I'm also a teacher, a job that is satisfying and also brings in a steady paycheck. But with teaching comes grading, and grading is a drag.

And I'm also a mom.

What a mix, right? I told Adam today that sometimes I'm very grateful to have such diverse interests because it never gets boring. On the other hand, I often feel unfocused and wish I had one passion that I was pursuing wholeheartedly, instead of a bunch of mini-passions.

The last few weeks, while I've had a break from teaching, I've been doing a lot of soul searching about all of this. I wish I could say that I've come up with the secret formula to determine how I should spend my time, the right mix of passion and income that somehow doesn't forsake family and friends. Has anyone figured this out? I haven't.

I will say that all the thinking and journaling and daydreaming I've done has helped me clarify where I might want to go. I want to write. I want to take photographs. I want to teach. I want to be a good mom. And I'm already on that path, so I just need to keep working hard and living what I love and have faith. What more can I do?

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