31 | 365

Still sick. Another day on the couch napping with my pets.

30 | 365

Left work early. So sick, so tired.
The dog ran away but came back.
New neighbors are moving in next door.

The Curator: Operation Nice

You may or may not have noticed this little badge sitting off to the right of this blog. It's a link to Operation Nice, the topic of my first article for the Curator. Yes, I'm now a regular, monthly contributor to this insightful online magazine, and I try to be nice. Read the article here.

And while you're on the website, take a gander at the other articles. New articles are published every Friday and encompass a wide range of topics. Today's edition includes pieces on cities in films, John Updike (who sadly passed this week), art in New York, and Bruce Herman's paintings, written by my online chum and Curator editor, Alissa. Jenni contributes regularly too.

Enjoy!

29 | 365

A lazy evening will follow a lazy day.
A bowl of soup, a warm blanket, some reading material and my dog
keep me company until Adam comes home.

28 | 365

Went to Walmart after work. Forgot to give the cashier my coupons.
Grossly underestimated the timing of potato soup.
But cloth diapers came today. Now to figure them out.

My Winter Vacation

My intentions were to blog through my trip to Rochester, to keep track of everything I did. I quickly realized, though, that I wanted to spend as much time as I could with everyone and not have to be chained to the computer. So, I fell behind posting my daily pictures (though I did take at least one photo everyday) and haven't actually written anything here in a week. Forgive me.

So, here's a recap of my Northern adventures, mostly for my own recollection of the trip later on.

wednesday
I flew from Gulfport, Miss., to Houston to Newark to Rochester and realized very quickly that airplane seats are terribly uncomfortable, especially for pregnant ladies. I also realized that people are quite kind, especially to pregnant ladies. My dad picked me up from the airport in the bitter cold. We got coffee, then hunted down a pair of winter boots, and finally ended up at Wegmans to shop for dinner. I got settled in and, like a good sport, my dad watched the season premier of Lost with me (though I could barely keep my eyes open after being up for 19 hours).

thursday
In the morning, my dad and I went snowshoeing at Black Creek Park. It was my first time. Even though I said I didn't want to go but two or three miles, we still ended up going 3.7 miles. My hips hurt so bad, I had to take my snowshoes off and walk with about a half mile to go. It took us almost an hour longer than we planned, so we ran home so I could get ready to meet my grad school buddy Caroline for coffee in Geneseo. In graduate school, we met every week for coffee, and even though it had been two years since we last saw each other, it was just like old times, only now with babies. That evening, my dad had a friend visit, so we all visited and ate a bean stew concoction that my dad and I had tinkered with periodically throughout the day. Then we watched a Victor Borge DVD laughed our heads off.

friday
My dad and I got coffee, then he drove me to meet my college friend Kristen and her two boys at the mall in Victor. We wandered around, talking a lot about eating local, nonprocessed foods and motherhood. We ate lunch, and our time went by far too quickly. Sandi, my mother in law, picked me up from the mall to take me to her house (I got passed around a lot that day). She made lasagna, and I help tie ribbon for the diaper cake for my shower. My father in law, Tom, came home, and we watched the news before my friend Amy showed up for dinner. We ate bread, salad, steak, broccoli, and potatoes before having black forest cake for dessert. It was delicious, and I was stuffed. Amy and I left to go to her new home, chatted for a while, and I stayed overnight since we were headed to the shower in the morning. Her bed is hard as a rock. I swear I could barely walk when I got out of it in the morning.

saturday
After running around town and going to Brueggers, the best bagel shop in the city, for breakfast, we headed back to Tom and Sandi's to help set up for the shower. Everyone showed up around noon, in spite of the poor weather conditions, and we visited and ate and opened presents. It was lovely, and I got a lot of cute things for the baby (and some functional stuff too). That evening, my dad and I went for more coffee (going out for coffee is our "thing", as you can see) and ended up getting into a long and deep discussion about spiritual matters. We stopped at Wegmans again, then drove by my alma mater to see the newly erected library before heading home.

sunday
I met my mom for coffee and spent the early afternoon with her chatting. We wound up at Brueggers for a bagel and more conversation. Then, I met friends from college, who I hadn't seen in about four years, at Olive Garden for an early dinner. We had such a good time catching up and reminiscing. I went back to my dad's, and we watched The Dark Knight (he had never seen it and loved it).

monday
We were going to go snowshoeing again, but the temperature wasn't supposed to get out of the teens. Instead, my dad and I went to the furniture store, and he found a set of chairs he wants to put in front of his gas stove. We got more coffee and took a drive through the country. He showed me one of the houses he lived in as a kid. When we got home, I packed up my stuff and we hung out for a while.

tuesday
Traveling home. I started in single digit temps and ended up in seventy degree weather. I was so happy to see Adam and was so exhausted.

It was a great trip, but strange. I felt very conscious that this was the last time I'd see everyone before motherhood. This was especially true with my dad, who I reminded several times that this would be the last time he'd have me all to himself like this. At the end of it all, though, we toasted the baby and are very much looking forward to the changes to come.

The trip was the last thing I was looking forward to before the birth. Now, the only things on the horizon are the birth and all the setting up and getting ready we have to do before the birth. And there's a lot to do!

And in April and May, people will migrate South for a visit to see the baby. I'm sure I'll be exhausted then too, but in a good way.

27 | 365

It's strange that the next time everyone from NY sees me, I'll be someone's mother.
It's comforting to know I don't have to sit in an airplane seat again while pregnant.

26 | 365

A drive through the country.
Furniture shopping. Packing.
Spending one last evening together --
Dad and daughter, pre-baby.

25 | 365

Four blonds and a redhead.

Just like old times (only now with babies).

24 | 365

Baby shower today.
Just family and close friends. Perfect.
Later, theological conversation and coffee with my father.

23 | 365

More friends and family. More food.
I am tired but in the best way.

22 | 365

Snowshoeing through the woods. 

We went farther than planned. 

Almost missed coffee with a friend.

21 | 365

Dear Snow, I know people who hate you.
I know others who don't understand you.
But rest assured, I love you.
Love, Lindsay

20 | 365

All packed for my trip.
Got good books and a fully loaded iPod.
Now to rest.
I am exhausted, exhausted, exhausted.

The Glory of Food

I must say, I am totally engrossed in Animal, Vegetable, Miracle. I want to stand on the street corner and hand it out to people. I want to quit my job and plant a farm on our quarter acre. Mostly, I want to cook real food. I can't say that my life has been totally void of real food, but I don't think I've ever fully understood what food, cooking, and the process of eating is meant to be. I've eaten a lot of junk and never really cared about cooking.

But what I'm realizing is, cooking is magical. It's transformative. And I really don't think I'm blowing it out of proportion by saying this. There's a huge difference between throwing noodles in a pot and pouring premade sauce over it and actually choosing the ingredients to go into the sauce, between buying muffin mix and adding a bit of egg and water and starting from scratch with flour and sugar, and between pulling a pizza out of the freezer and taking the time to make the dough, then thoughtfully choosing and arranging ingredients. With our family about to expand, I glad to accept this as part of the domestic routine.

Adam already does this. He loves to cook and loves to eat. He cooks at the fire station and gets rave reviews for his étouffée. He has taught me a lot about cooking and gardening. He's also a big proponent of eating as a family at the table every night, something we've been lax on but will make an effort toward once Baby C arrives.

I did a little research and found that the Natural Resources Defense Council lists what fruits and vegetables are in season, month by month and state by state. This is great for knowing what types of produce were less likely to have been shipped a long way (like from South America) when shopping at the grocery store or when local produce will be in season to purchase at the farmers' market or to pick from our backyard. This weekend, we bought a bunch of seeds for our garden. Adam wants to give corn a shot (it's an experiment). We also plan to grow tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, squash, spinach, and a variety of herbs.

In digging a little deeper, I found a farm not far from here that may be a CSA (fingers crossed). From what I read, they sell seasonable fruit, veggies, meat, dairy, and pecans. I'll admit, I actually had a dream about it this weekend. But we're waiting until after my trip this week to venture there and check it out.

Last night, Adam and I made our own rendition of the Friday Night Pizza recipe from Animal, Vegetable, Miracle. I made the dough and Adam chopped the veggies. We added chicken and pepperoni to and it was amazing -- beats the pants off of DiGiorno. I also made chocolate mousse from scratch, much of which is sitting in the refridgerator awaiting my arrival at the end of the day.

The rest of our weekend was pretty standard. Penny and I took a long walk in the park on Saturday, and yesterday was spent watching football with the fire blazing. We also bathed both of our pets, which is always an adventure but necessary because they keep passing fleas to each other.

Who knew having a home life could be like this?

19 | 365

Last day of the second trimester (depending on who you ask).
I still try to do this: always look like I'm wearing JCrew.
Shallow? Maybe, but I'm happy.

18 | 365

Flea baths all around.
A long nap is in order.
Later, homemade pizza and chocolate mousse.
Three days to NY.

17 | 365

Saturday is just the two of us.
We walked in the park, then took a nap.
Last night, I didn't sleep well.

16 | 365

In the 20s this morning.
Today is tweed and wool.
I'm off to see the baby doctor,
the best time of the month.

15 | 365

A lot of writing today.

Finally the rhythm was right.
There are calls to make and my pants are uncomfortable.
I'm making the best of it.

Lessons on Building a Fire

Last night, after Adam returned from class, he asked me if I wanted to learn how to build a fire. Let me preface this by saying that I've already tried to build one in our fireplace on my own and failed miserably. I learned that I can make a small, short-lived fire out of paper but cannot make wood burn. Additionally, when left alone with a roaring fire the other night, I learned that I cannot sustain a fire, as the whole thing turned to smoke and glowing embers in the two hours Adam was gone.

It's sad.

With the overnight temperatures expected to dip down to 20 degrees the next few nights, absurdly low for this part of the country, Adam thought it might be time to teach me the art of fire building. He instructed me on how to layer paper, small pieces of wood, and bark, then lit it with a lighter. The paper burned, and then the fire went out. Oops. He spent the next 45 minutes trying to get the thing up, and by the time he finally did, it was time to go to bed. Admitting he wasn't the best teacher, I assured him that I should be able to get a fire going on my own.

I guess we'll see.

14 | 365

New boots and I'm swooning.
Can't wait for another rainy day.
Until then, I'll wear them around the house.

13 | 365

The morning light finds our living room.
The cat lets it in.
I slip out the door on the way to work.

Baked Bread

I spent a lot of time thinking about food this weekend. I got out cookbooks to plan meals for the week before going grocery shopping (something I never do); made broccoli and cheese soup and blueberry bread from scratch; read a lot of Barbara Kingsolver's Animal, Vegetable, Miracle; lamented the lack of CSAs in our area; and discussed with Adam plans to garden, can, and freeze our own fruits and vegetables this year.

We spent a lot of time talking about our families and what we'd come from, and our conversation arrived at the conclusion that feminism meant something very different to our parents' generation than it does to ours. For them, it was all about avoiding the oppression of the home by choosing to use formula rather than breastfeed or take the kids to McDonalds every week to avoid cooking. My definition of feminism is that of an industrious woman, one who knows how to take care of things and doesn't mind getting her hands dirty, in and out of the home.

I never thought I would be someone who enjoyed the domestic arts. Don't get me wrong -- there are plenty I don't enjoy. But in an effort to slow life down and live with intention, my attention is drawn away from modern conveniences and toward the careful crafting of things for myself and my family -- a meal made from scratch, a pair of hemmed pants, a clean floor, a slowly sipped cup of coffee. I'm grateful for the choice.

12 | 365

Another semester has started and
my evenings will be spent without my husband.
The cat warms my lap. The dog sleeps.
The baby kicks.

11 | 365

Sunday morning, we walk to see the marathon runners.
It was much cooler today -- a good day for a fire, football, and chili.

10 | 365

Homemade broccoli and cheese soup was dinner this evening.
Just a Betty Crocker recipe, with a twist.
My belly sticks out quite a bit these days.

On Being Neighborly

Our next door neighbors appear to be moving out. Adam and I, on the other hand, are getting ready to renew our lease for another year. I love where we live. It's within walking distance of downtown, there are always people around, and it's not the country (we tried that once and I hated it). One thing I don't love, though, is the unfriendliness of our neighbors.

When this couple who is now moving out first moved in, we were sure to welcome them. I was glad to see it was another young couple, something I'd been praying for since the previous tenants moved out. But after that initial contact, they never spoke to us again and seemed to actually avoid having to say hello. The neighbors on the opposite of our house did the same thing, as did the couple across the street.

I'd like to think that we're nice neighbors. We've been friendly and always say hello or wave. Perhaps it's because of our annoying dog. She barks. She gets excited. She's a dog. (Wait til our kid is born.) But all neighbors have their quirks (I can hear the TV in the house next to us all night) and I don't see that as reason enough to be rude.

I thought when we moved here that we'd find the neighborhood to be, well, neighborly. I figured we'd build relationships and make friends. We even heard word of block parties and movies nights. But, for some reason, none of this ever happened.

When I mentioned this to a friend who has always lived in this city, she said, "That's not what we do here." Whatever happened to Southern hospitality? I'm a bit stunned.

So, now, onto praying for our new neighbors, whoever will end up moving in next door. Instead of praying for a young couple, I'll ask for neighborly neighbors -- people who will say hello, offer help and a kind word, and want to build relationships with the people they live beside.

That's all I want, really.

9 | 365

I eat an apple and Adam makes peanut butter toast.
The counters are clear even though he's sick.
The dog barks when I rub his back.

8 | 365

This morning, I was in the mood for stripes.
It will be another warm day.
I am looking forward to my trip North.

What's the Rush?

[artist: Nick Dewar | photo courtesty: ReadyMade]

As one of my new year's resolutions ambitions, I am making a concerted effort to take things slow, to savor moments and not rush on to the next thing. I realize more each day how contrary this is to what I've learned. Through the process of going to school -- always rushing on to the next year -- then college, graduate school, getting married, getting a job, getting another job, having a baby, it is easy to always be looking to the next move or the next exciting thing rather than enjoying the moment at hand.

All last year, I heard about the Slow Food movement and read about people giving up television or their cars in an effort to live a simpler life. And I agreed wholeheartedly that a simpler life was worthwhile, but I still found myself whining throughout the year about how life was unfair and that having and developing patience was a waste of time. Come to find out, that's not true.

As I flipped my way through Kathleen Norris's Acedia & me last month, I was impressed by how she emphasized embracing the moment. Every moment. Even the painful ones or the boring ones. Each has a purpose and helps carve out who we are and who we will become.

And so I have been making an effort to actually cook meals rather than eat a bowl of cereal for dinner, to wash the pots and pans instead of leaving them in the sink for days, to make the bed in the morning, to drive slower and not yell at other drivers, to make time for people. I consider that these are ways to honor others, myself, and most importantly God.

I'm by no means good at this yet. My first instinct is to freak out about everything, run people over and call them morons, and plop down on the couch to watch TV mindlessly for hours. But that's not really living, or at least not living well. So, I constantly remind myself to slow down and relax and be in the moment.

And, yes, we have plans for the future and hopes and ambitions and a baby to raise for the next 20 years, but here is not such a bad place to be. And the good things is, it's not permanent.

7 | 365

Not much like a spider, the backyard was covered in web.
The sun came out for the first time in days.

6 | 365

A storm is brewing. It's 5 o'clock.
The leaves of the palm tree outside our neighbor's house sway.
We wait for rain.

Pets & Photography

In trying to get a picture for today, I ended up chasing our pets around the house, snapping photos of them and yelling a lot because they don't sit still long enough for me to turn off the flash. Adam jumped in and got Penny to sit, with the assistance of some treats, which isn't what I wanted. I wanted candid shots. With animals, this is nearly impossible. Especially after the sun has gone down.

But we had fun, and Adam made dinner. It was a noodly concoction with the sauce he made this weekend and -- the most important component -- Texas toast. Shortly after four o'clock, Adam called to ask if I'd stop by the store to get some because it's so good. When I got home and asked him what he had for lunch, he said orange juice. No lunch = strange cravings in the afternoon = cute husband.

I'm hoping he'll take me for an ice cream cone tonight. We have a coupon and it's sixty degrees outside. Sounds like a plan to me.

5 | 365

After wrestling the dog to try to take a picture of her,
my husband bribes her with treats.
Good news: she's [semi] obedient.

4 | 365

On a Sunday afternoon walk,
this statue at St. Mary's Catholic Church stood over me.
The dog sniffs and pulls.
Time to go.

Morning Fog

More often than not, in the last month mornings have been covered with fog. We've had very little sunlight, and I kid with Adam that the lack of sunshine might send me into a tailspin of Seasonal Affective Disorder. In upstate New York, winters are marked not just by copious amounts of lake effect snow, but also a lack of sunlight. When we moved south, I was -- and continue to be -- impressed with how often the sun shines and how blue the sky is. Almost all of the time. Since I've taken an interest lately in photography, I've paid more attention to the sunlight and lack thereof, and have found myself a bit frustrated.

The fog has begun to lift, and in a bit Adam and I will walk to the drug store to fill a prescription and head to the library to pick up books. I'm hoping the fresh air will do me some good since I seem to have caught a cold and the left side of my throat is killing me. Last night, I felt awful and was asleep by 8:30. This morning, after 10.5 hours of sleep, I feel a bit better.

Yesterday was interrupted by a minor emergency that sent me to the doctor (not for my cold). But everything is okay with me and the baby. I just have an infection, hence the prescription. I have often heard that we should turn our worries into prayers, and that ended up being the order of the day. Ultimately, pregnancy makes me very aware of just how little control I have over my life and how much I have to trust God.

The highlight of my day was a package of Traditional Medicinals Organic Pregnancy Tea that my aunt sent me. I love getting real mail and was pleasantly surprised. Last night, before passing out, I had a cup with honey, and it was lovely. I have to send her a thank you note asap! Another resolution for this year is to implement snail mail more often. It's far more personal than e-communication and, I think, falls under the category of "Be more relationship and community oriented." I also hope to make people handmade gifts -- my head is brimming with ideas!

3 | 365

The fog is thick this morning.
I can barely see across the street.
Mornings have been somber for over a week.

2 | 365

A Christmas gift to himself, Adam received Madden Football for PS2.
Much time is spent mastering it.
I turn pages of a book.

1 | 365

Self portrait on New Year's Day.
My dog, Penny, doesn't sit well for photographs.
2009 will be a good year.

Happy New Year!

Welcome to my new blog. With so many changes in store for 2009, a new blog gives me a chance to refocus my vision and, in some ways, reinvent myself. So, if you've been following my old blog, expect this one to be more of the same but more intentional.

I'm not much for making resolutions since they most often get broken. I'm someone who is constantly revising herself and resolving to do all sorts of things, so new year's resolutions don't equate to a whole lot for me. But these are different. Mostly, I'm motivated to make changes in my life because of the bun in my oven, who will be here in less than four months.

Here's the list:

:: Take a picture everyday. I know of at least two other people who are doing this, and I think documenting a year in my life through pictures is an interesting challenge. I'll be posting my daily picture on this blog and in Adam's and my Flickr account.

:: Read the bible cover to cover. Two years I attempted to do this and didn't make it past Leviticus. Adam will be reading along with me.

:: Take it slow. I've already been trying to do this, to be in present in every moment and not racing on to the next. I'm trying to drive slower, eat slower, wash the dishes by hand, turn off the television and have more conversations, not multitask. By taking it slow, I think I can live most fully.

:: Be more relationship and community oriented. I am bad about keeping up with people and about reaching out. Most of the time, I am okay being by myself, keeping busy with various things, but I need to work harder to keep people I love in my life and to reach out to new people. It's too easy to become complacent, which I'm afraid I've been.

The best thing about life is that it is always new, that you get a second chances and third and fourth. I'm thankful for new chances and for changes, for all the beauty that life can hold. Here's wishing you a great 2009. It's going to be a fabulous year!